My life has been quiet since Debby and Jordan's visit.  I have retreated within...it is a time for reflection...a time to think...a time to study ...I have been more in the "Moment"...allowing each day to arrive and living quietly within the day...enjoying this quiet time in my life.  The summer is at its zenith...hot and humid.  My days are spent luxuriously relaxing in the shade of my Lanai.  I watch the wildlife as it unfolds before me like a panoramic view...sweet and sensual to my mind.

School has begun for my grandchildren and the neighborhood is quiet and still as the children are away during the daytime.  I sit and read and allow the healing of the day to sustain my soul. 

I miss my brother.  His presence so brief and yet so powerful within my life.  Much like my Michael who came and saw and conquered my heart and then he was gone.  Their  presence so strong yet within my memory. 

Summer is drawing to a close and soon the Fall season will arrive...it will be my first Fall in Florida.  I await it with great anticipation.  Do the trees change color here in Florida I wonder? 

Today it is lush and green...the folliage thick, the flowers in full bloom.  I sip my ice tea and I watch from my Lanai, completely immersed in the moment of today...the sun hot upon my skin as I sit quietly and reflect....

 

 

 

I have learned over time that simple pleasures are found in the moment of today...

These are the simple pleasures that I shared with my daughter and granddaughter at Cocoa Beach... 

I am so thankful that we had stopped and bought an umbrella....

without it the sun would have baked me even more than it wound up doing.  Jordan spotted the Sand

Crab who came to visit...

It was a day from Paradise...a day with daughter and granddaughter

 

My daughter Debby and my granddaughter Jordan came for a visit for a few days to Florida.  It was a wonderful visit.   I marveled at how my granddaughter Jordan has grown...and I remember what it was like to be eight years old and everything is an adventure.  Jordan was enthralled with feeding the ducks and sitting on the Lanai and watching the wildlife.  I had been telling her about the deer and sure enough the deer arrived the day before they were to fly back to Colorado.  Jordan was totally thrilled.

We took one day and drove to Cocoa Beach and spent hours on the beach.  Jordan was a little fish in the ocean...playing in the waves and never tiring of it.  The sun was hot and the temperature soared to 99 the day we went to the beach, but we sat under the umbrella and drank water and ate grapes and laughed at Jordan's antics. 

Don and Lisa invited us over to their house Tuesday evening for a wonderful pasta dinner complete with a glass of Bolo wine...I was excited to have my children and grandchildren together.  I sat listening to the conversation and allowing the joy of the night to fill my heart.

Wednesday night after spending most of the day at the beach, Deb, Jordan and I met Don and Lisa and Katie and Alec in Winter Park.  We went to the most wonderful restaurant and dined on sea food that melted in our mouths.  Thursday we relaxed at the pool at my house and ended the day with another night out at Yen Yen's ...dining on sushi.  

Friday we drove to the airport and I saw them off.  I hated for my daughter and granddaughter to leave, but I also knew they were ready to go home to Troy. 

Today has been quiet...the sound of laughter still echo's in my condo...my heart is full of love. 

I have added a picture of Debby and Jordan...

I received this today in my email from one of my friends..dearest Kathy.  I read it and cried...you see, I once was a nurse...now retired and now I find myself  rapidly approaching the age of "An old woman"....ahhh if eyes can see and ears can hear the message within this poem...  May it Be.

 

 

An Old Woman
(Note: This poem was found in the bedside table of an elderly woman living in an extended care facility upon her death.)

What do you see nurses,
What do you see?
Are you thinking,
When you look at me;
A crabby old woman,
Not very wise
Uncertain of habit,
With far away eyes,
Who dribbles her food,
And makes no reply
When you say in a loud voice
 'I do wish you'd try',
Who seems not to notice
The things that you do,
And forever is losing
A stocking or shoe,
Who, unresisting or not,
Lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding,
The long day to fill,
Is that what you're thinking,
Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes nurse.
You're not looking at me.
As I'll tell you who I am,
As I sit here so still,
As I rise at your bidding,
As I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of ten
With a mother and father
Brothers and sisters,
Who love one another,
A young girl of sixteen,
With wings on her feet,
Dreaming that soon now
A lover she'll meet;
A bride soon at twenty;
My heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows
That I promised to keep;
At twenty-five now
I have young of my own,
Who need me to build
A secure, happy home.
A young woman of thirty,
My young now grow fast,
Bound to each other
With ties that should last;
At forty, my young ones,
Now grown, will soon be gone,
But my man stays beside me,
To see I don't mourn.
At fifty once more,
babies play round my knee.
Again we know children,
My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me,
My husband is dead,
I look at the future,
I shudder with dread,
For my young are all busy,
Rearing young of their own,
And I thin of the years
And the love I have known.
I'm an old woman now,
And nature is cruel.
 'tis her jest to make old age
To look like a fool.
The body is crumbled,
Grace and vigor depart.
There is now a stone
Where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass,
A young girl still dwells,
And now and again
My battered heart swells.
I remember the joys,
I remember the pain,
And I'm loving and living
Life over again.
I think of the years,
All too few,
Gone to fast,
And accept the stark fact
that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, nurses,
Open and see,
Not a crabby old woman;
Look closer ... see ME.  

  

 

 

Against the Wind....Danny and I were riding in his truck one time when he had come back to visit me in Colorado shortly after Michael passed away.  Bob Segar's "Against the Wind" was playing on the radio..and Dan turned to me and said, "This always makes me think of Mike!"  It does indeed....I think Michael, you lived "Against the Wind"...and so this tribute is to you on this day your birthday...

May the angels sing..."Against the Wind"...

As I awoke, the rain began to pour outside of my window.  I got up and dressed as I had an appointment with the doctor and his massage therapist.  My left shoulder was aching.  I had taken a tumble on Monday when I was over at Don and LIsa's house.  I was carrying pillows and stuffed animals in my arms, and quite simply did not see Nestle dog lying on the floor.  I tripped over her (fortunately for Nestle I didn't land on her) and fell on my left knee, left hip and left shoulder.  I really hurt for a moment, but decided I was more bruised than broken.  By Tuesday my back and shoulder was hurting, so today I kept my appointment and went to the doc and saw the massage therapist who worked mostly on my shoulder and back.  I drove home in the rain and thought about you Michael.  Today is your birthday.  I lit a candle and as it burns, the sweet smell of vanilla fills the air.  63 years ago you were born on this earth and at the age of 57 you departed from this earth.  I often think that you "graduated" from the school of life and went on to higher learning...

My life has continued ...some days I don't look back...but some days like today, I do look back and I remember...you are forever in my heart.  Even as I walk this earth without you...there are times I feel you beside me.  Your spirit caressing my heart with love.

Happy Birthday Dearest...love lives on even long after you are gone....like a candle in the wind...

 

Today I began the task of cleaning out the guest bedroom closet which has doubled for my storage closet.  My daughter Debby and little Jordan are coming to visit me in Florida, so I began unpacking some of the storage boxes that I had not tackled since moving to Florida in December.

Each item in the storage boxes were carefully stored to prevent damage.  I unwrapped framed pictures and marveled at how my grandchildren had grown over the years.  I found the rock collection that Michael and I had collected each time we visited the mountains, or a new place.  Michael, at one time, had worked for an oil company, and through the geologists had collected some wonderful raw obsidian, and turquoise that I have treasured over the years.  Finding the rock collection was a delight, and I have placed a few of my treasures out to view. 

I came across my favorite picture of Michael and me...taken shortly after we were married.  I scanned it today onto the computer and I share it now with all of you.

I miss you Michael.  Tomorrow is your birthday...I miss your smile...your sparkling eyes.  I miss you in my life each and every day.