Yesterday I received an email from a nephew of Tom Ohnesorge.  Tom was a medic who was killed in Viet Nam in 1967.  His nephew had come across my poem "Seasons of the Heart" .  I had left it as a tribute on the virtual Viet Nam Wall memorial for Tom.  I had also traveled in 1997 to Washington DC and left a copy of the poem at the base of the Viet Nam wall where Tom's name is displayed.  I did a pencil tracing on a paper of his name from that wall, and I slipped it inside of the pages of the national anthology book Isle of View where my poem is published and printed.  It reminded me after reading his email....how truly "Everything is as it Should Be."

 

Today is quiet.  The sunshine warm upon my skin as I sit on Don and Lisa's Lanai.  The sunshine dapples the swirling water in the swimming pool.  I watch it through half-lidded eyes.  I am at peace ...I have no need to meet problems with humor today.  Silence is sweet...my heart beats to the rhythm of Life all around me.

It is a moment of peace, of tranquility that courses through my veins.    It is but a moment in time, yet I savor it.  Coffee laced with creamer, quiet silence..ony the gentle far-off sound of a windchime as it sings softly in the morning breeze accompanies the quietude that I treasure.  I am not ready to read the newspaper or listen to the morning news on the television set.  I choose not to face the news of war, or a senseless gang killing in the city, or a child abuse victim who is dying at this moment in time.  There will be time for that later.  Now, I allow  the serenity simply to embrace me, refresh me, prepare me for the rest of my day and the days yet to come.
Again, I find myself longing for my children and grandchildren who live away.  Their  mornings are busy and full of life.  It is the kind of morning that brings a sense of Life and Love combined. 
Today I am winding down, as the week draws close to an end.  Don and Lisa will be returning the night of the 1st.  I have missed them.  I realize how much I treasure my children...my grandchildren.  They are the Stuff that my Life revolves around.  It is good.  It is "As it should Be!"
It seems only a moment ago when I was but a child myself.  Now, I am a mother, a grandmother, a great-grandmother to be.    This is my life and I treasure it...for Everything is as it should be.
My heart spills out my yearnings upon these pages, as an open book..my very thoughts become known.  I miss my mate..the Prince of my Night who holds me in his arms and protects me.  I miss the one element that would complete my life..the love of another and who I could love....  Yet I know, that if it is to be, it will be....and if not...then....
Everything is as it should be.  Perhaps I am destined to be alone now.  If so...may it be.  My heart yearns...but in maturity one realizes that yearnings are a part of growth.  I must wait..and see what will unfold in my life...for truth be known, all things happen for a reason...and so it shall.  I am accepting of this ...
So I treasure this moment ..this precious quiet time in my life.  It is the Dusk of my years.  I must walk quietly - watching  the stars unfold in my life's sky. 
Good morning my children..my grandchildren.  Someday I hope you will read this and remember the memories we have created together...and treasure your cherished moments in time...
I add no picture...no photo to accompany my thoughts...I cannot...they are too private.  It is suffice to know that....
"Everything is As it Should Be."

As all of you probably know, Don and Lisa are in Italy on vacation for two weeks and I am staying at their beautiful home petsitting Nestle, their Springer Spaniel.  I have enjoyed staying in their home.  I have lived in condos and apartments for so long that I have forgotten what it feels like to live in an actual house with a lawn..a lanai that sports a swimming pool, and neighbors that live in their own homes not attached to yours.  It has been great!  I have however, missed my beautiful condo and will be glad when I am home with Cleo full-time once again. 

We had a terrific thunderstorm on Monday.   It was probably one of the more violent storms that I have seen here in Florida.  The lightning was fierce and the thunder rolled from the Heavens as tho God was shouting to us here on earth.  Nestle and I cowered in the house and watched the storm as it progressed from mild to moderate to downright severe.  The winds blew..the electricity went on and off...and the rain fell hard.  I was thankful when the storm passed eventually and the sun began to shine once more .  However, from the moment the storm left the region, it seems as tho it's effects are still lingering.  As evidenced by later that afternoon when I took a ride to the grocery store to stock up on milk and tea bags.  I arrived home and as I am tapping in their code to get the garage door to open up,  the number 2 rubbery thingamajiggy off the key pad fell into the palm of my hands...I tried to get it to stay on..first attempt by pushing it in place, but no matter what I attempted...it simply would not stay on....so now for the moment it is taped on (and no..it doesn't work..you can push the #2 button and the friggin thing won't work (sigh)...the garage door remains down and locked!  But being the resourceful person that I am, I am now  using Don's keys to get in and out of the front door..and am staying clear of the garage because Lisa's Mercedes is parked
inside and with my luck...as I brush by it attempting to get into the house. I  will knock something off the wall and dent her car.
Don's garage is immaculate.  It truly is.  He has eveything at easy reach.  Storage counters that are hung on the walls with every tool and such stored neatly inside.  The scrub mop, broom etc. is hung on the wall.  Thus my fear that I might knock something off...

 

We had the thunderstorm from hell on Monday.  It was a storm that dumped so much rain that it literally flooded the patio...Nestle and I sat inside and watched the patio furniture..two wicker lounge chairs, two wicker ottomans, one wicker sofa, coffee table and two end tables, Nestle's new elevated dog food bowl holder and the new dog food storage bin float by heading for the Atlantic....
This storm was seriously bad news...the lanai patio had ankle-deep water clear up to the glass sliding doors of the house...  I was shocked and was sitting in the living room on the couch contemplating blowing up the grandchildren's rubber raft that was hanging on the garage wall...when the storm stopped.  The water slowly receeded....and the sun came out!
But not before the lightning blinked out (called a brown-out) their six figure pricey satellite
tv that hangs up on the wall and is bigger than my subaru outback...it is one of those big big screened tv things that hang like a
picture.on the wall.  It is truly a beautiful television set and probably well-deserving the price that accompanies these types of televisions that grace the electronic stores.  I am in awe of it..and very intimidated by it.  It comes with a remote control that requires a much highter intellect than mine to use it. 

But back to the lightning..welll of course it messed up the satellite tv and nothing would work...I attempted to adjust the volume...to no avail.  I tried changing channels...no.  I pushed the off button...and the television and satellite receiver wouldn't shut off ...simply put...It was frozen in on-position.  It was stuck on  one volume..and on one channel (which happened to be
Chiller..) that wasn't so bad untill today when I got tired of watching all the old Alfred Hitchcock's re-runs...so I began to push buttons (nothing worked)..so I went to move the satellite receiver in the cabinet.  I should have realized when alarm bells began to ring inside of my brain that this probably is the wrong move!  As I pulled the receiver forward, two cords came off from the back..the television screen went blank and the sound stopped.  I felt sweat began to form on my brow as I stared at the cords.  I looked at the back of the receiver and felt my heart begin to pound.  There were more input plugs to plug into with these two cords than I could count on all of my fingers of both of my hands.   

Just then the phone rang.  It hadn't rang in days.  I stilled my jangled nerves and picked up the phone.  Lisa's voice was on the other end as I said a shakey "Hello????" 
The conversation went like this:
Lisa:  "hi how are you? how are things?"
Me: I am fine..your tv is a bit messed up."
Lisa: (voice rising an octave).."WHAT????"

I held the phone receiver a bit away from my ear....
Me: "There was a bad thunderstorm...."
Lisa: "and?"
Me: i"The rain flooded the patio..."
Lisa: "it does that..."
Me: "Well anyway the lightning  did a number on the tv..."
Lisa: (voice rising another octave)   "What????"

(Nestle heads for the lanai ...her head hanging...)
Me: "it won't work...it doesn't turn off..its frozen!"
Lisa" What?"
Me: So anyway I tried to fix it..."
Lisa: (instructing Don how to drive in Italy).."turn left Don....LEFT...this LEFT!!!!"
Me: "so..long story short, two cable thingamajiggies came loose off the back and they are
short and..I can't get them plugged in...because I can't get my head back behind the receiver to figure out where to plug it in...ya know there are so many plugs to plug these two cords in..."

(I hear my voice rising...my words spilling out fast....)
Lisa: (long silence)...(exasperation punctuating her every word...)"Don..she pulled out a couple of the wires on the back
of the satellite receiver..."
Don: muffled expletives..."What???"...then a second of silence and..."Where do I go now Lisa?"
Lisa"  "Turn Left...thats right...no....LEFT DON...LEFT!!!!"
Don: "I thought you said right...."
Me:  "WOW!!!  sounds like you two are having lots of fun..."
Lisa: "Listen..just go get Kyle the neighbor kid across the street and see if he can fix
the tv we will call you back tonight and see if it is working.."
Me: "Great idea..ok..no prob...I'll get Kyle."
CLICK....phone went dead.
I believe they are enjoying their trip (sigh) I thought.  Well, what to do?  I  went and got the next door neighbor kid... Kyle..

I relayed the entire story to him about the tv etc...he listened thoughtfully, picked his nose, stared at his feet and then said..."I'll go get my sandals and be right over."

I walked home, head hanging.....

Kyle arrived a few moments later and looked around.  He finally spotted the tv hanging on the wall.  He walked over, head high..his shoulders back....

(I thought..wow..this kid is a pro!)

I was completely impressed when he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and flicked a button and a bright light (flashlight?) came on.
flashlight beam emitted from the phone.  In seconds he had  hooked up the cables and reset the satellite...the tv works. 
He walked into the kitchen and opened the refridgerator door...I said.."are you hungry?"
Kyle:  "No..that storm did a number on our fridge and it erased all the settings..and we had water leaking all over from the ice maker...
I suddenly had visions of the patio furniture floating by....

Me: "is Lisa's fridge ok?"
Kyle: "Yep...hey this looks good..."
Me:  I'll grab you a bowl...honey, go ahead and eat it."
Kyle grabs bowl out of fridge and sits at table and eats pudding-or-whatever-the-hell-that-chocolate-stuff-was in the bowl in the
fridge...
Kyle " well...uh, bye!"   I closed the door and watched him walk back to his house. 
I sighed...tv is working...Rocky Balboa the raccoon is eating well outside of the Lanai..I have slept for the past three nights without Nestle barking...and speaking of Nestle, she is welllllll....Nestle...!!!!!!
So things are pretty much back to normal...(laughing)
 Life is good... 

Or is it?  I think I hear thunder.....

 

Last night began quiet enough,  until I had shut out the lights and fallen asleep.  I had carefully locked the dog bowls in place on the storage unit of the elevated dog feeder.  I made sure there was not even a crumb left in the bowls..and then I went to bed...That should work against a very smart pesky raccoon who I have named Rocky Balboa.  No such luck of course!  I must have been asleep one hour when Don's dog Nestle (I am at the point where I am not sure I can call Nestle my Grand-Dog).  began barking.  Let me tell you Nestle is not feminine when it comes to her barking..it begins with a deep throated growl and rises to a creshendo followed by barking which would register a 10 on the Richter Scale.  I immediately came awake.  I went to the lanai switched on the lights and Rocky Balboa met me with a sweet face.  Rocky was definitely happy for the light.  He had managed to screw the lock-down bowl off and was sitting quite comfortably in the water bowl (hey a nice spa bath is always welcome) while digging daintily into the storage food bin and helping himself.   Nestle was going wild..her eyes glazed..panting rapidly...(you know the look..you have probably seen this a dozen times in the grocery aisle when men are buying their favorite steak!).  I opened the Lanai door praying that Nestle wouldn't get killed by Rocky Balboa.  Rocky made a fast retreat to the torn screen area where it had made its entrance...(I looked at the screen and sighed..Don is going to love this I thought!).  I went back to the bin (can't lift it or I would have put it inside the house in the garage)...too full of dog food, and I was totally frazzled.  I left the Lanai light on ...screwed down the bowl and put a fire log ontop of the bowls to secure them, hoping that the weight of the log would deter Rocky.  I climbed back into bed..had just begun to slumber when Nestle sounded the Alarm.  I sat up in bed..my head ached..I felt dizzy..my eyes felt hot like sandpaper had been rubbed over them.  I got up...walked to the sliding glass doors and was greeted once again by Rocky.

 

Aggggggggggggh!!!!  I left the light on as Rocky seemed to like the candlelit ambiance...and allowed him to continue to eat his full.  Around 4:30 this morning Rocky left waving his paw goodbye.  He did not leave a tip. 

 

 

 

 

 I continued to watch a horror flick on tv...after all, it didn't scare me...it had nothing in the way of arousing fear within me.  I had met fear and its name was Rocky Balboa!!!

 

I glared at Nestle, who looked at me quizically...after all, "why was I angry at her?"...she reasoned.  I went to bed.

 

 

I awoke at 6:30.  Nestle was whining.  I got up and let her out to potty.  I put the coffee on and waited for the sweet smell of roasted coffee.  I drank the entire pot of coffee...all twelve cups!  It was wonderful...my eyelids could stay open without me holding them with my fingers.  I waited...

 

Ten AM Petsmart should be open...I headed out the door on a mission.  It was time to do battle with Rocky Balboa.  I headed down Red Bug Road to the nearest Petsmart in the neighborhood.  The doors were open..people were coming in and out of the doors with their leashes in hand...their cute little dogs following close on the heels of their owners.  I grabbed a cart and headed for the Pet Dog Storage Bins.  I found one nice one that had a clamp on locked lid.  Perfect for my use.  I bought it, a new raised food bowl platform with two nice stainless steel bowls...and a large bag of Nestle's favorite dog food...Science Diet Nature's Best.  I tossed in a small bag of Science Diet "Seniors plus" which the science diet salesman at the store had assured me that Dogs over seven need.  I drove home...happy and free....

 

I parked my outback in the driveway and put the code in the garage door security lock system.  The garage door didn't open.  I put the code in four times and on the fourth time (with sweat pouring from every orifice in my body...Florida summers are Hot!  Really downright HOT!)

one of the numbered rubbery push button fell out and into the palm of my hand.  I attempted to put the little rubbery thingamajig back on the lock pad..but to no avail.  Panic began to set in...Don's extra keys were in the house.  The house was locked...all windows and doors secured by ADT...  I stood for a moment in disbelief.  I sat down the bag of dog food and walked over to the neighbors and rang the door.  (Don and Lisa had told me to go across the street to the neighbor who lives there if I needed help....)  I NEEDED HELP.  I walked over in the bright sunshine that blazed hot upon my neck and arms...I no longer was sweating.  I was dehydrated of course.  I was dizzy again..my head pounded and I felt nauseous.  I rang the doorbell.  The teenage boy came to the door, looking at me with no recognition whatsoever in his face.  (OF COURSE HE DOESN'T RECOGNIZE ME..I DO NOT RESEMBLE ANYTHING HUMAN!)  I re-introduced myself to him as Don's Mother and explained my distress.  He listened to me and slipped on sandals and followed me across the street to the garage door key pad.  He worked on it for several minutes.  He could not put the rubbery number 2 back on the key lock.  Finally, he got out his keys and punched in the code (he already knew the access code...perhaps Lisa or one of the kids have  gone through something akin to this???)  The garage door opened.  We both smiled at one another.  I thanked him from the bottom of my heart for his help and picked up my Petsmart items and carried them inside.  Once inside, I fastened Don's keys onto mine and slipped them in my purse...I felt better!  Things were back under control.

 

I poured myself a large 16 ounce glass of ice tea and swallowed it.  Then out to the Lanai with Nestle following, her tail wagging.  We were ready to do battle....we poured the old dog food (which took many scoops with the measuring scoop) from the old storage bin into the new...at last, I carried out the old storage bin placing it in the back yard on the outside of the lanai...I left enough dog food in the bottom of the storage bin to keep Rocky Balboa satisfied....I shut the screen door and finished setting up Nestle's new dog feeder and new storage bin...this one has wheels....I am ready for a good nights sleep tonight....I can feed Nestle then wheel the new storage bin back inside the house for the night....behind locked glass doors....away from Rocky Balboa.

 

Nestle is curled up on the living room rug....she is asleep dreaming the dreams that dogs dream of.  I may settle down on the couch with ice tea and watch a good movie...

 

I await.....Rocky Balboa....

 

 

 

 

 

Don and Lisa are away in Italy for two weeks, so I am petsitting with my GrandDog Nestle.  Nestle is a 10+ year old female Springer Spaniel.  For the most part Nestle is a very happy dog, however staying at Don and Lisa's house has provided me with much insight as to what goes on in Nestle's mind.

 

 

 

It began with Cleo Cat.  I brought Cleo to stay at their home with me.  Cleo, I discovered, has apparently been around dogs in her "Before Life" with me.  She showed no fear or concern when it came to being around Nestle.  Nestle on the otherhand, has definitely not been around cats and regarded Cleo as something akin to "Steak".  I realized that Cleo was in trouble when Nestle's eyes began to take on a far-off look...her eyes glazed over at the mere sight of Cleo...she began to pant and salivate and then she would make a mad dash to Cleo....Cleo would submit to the "anal probe" by Nestle's nose...and then Nestle would circle Cleo ...Cleo would notice then that something was amiss and she would stop in her tracks and sit down.  Nestle would then get low to the ground and begin a series of low threatening growls...  Cleo's eyes seemed to narrow a bit at this...and then Nestle would rush her....run up and give her a little nip...usually on Cleo's tail.  After a couple of days of this behavior, I took Cleo home to relax at my house.  I changed from plan A which was staying for the two weeks at Don's house 24/7 to opting for plan B...staying at Don's house at night so that I can get Nestle outside for the last nightly walk...and feed her...and then get up first thing in the morning and take her out for some walk time.....spend a few hours in the morning with Nestle..walk her once more before leaving to drive from Winter Springs to Longwood where I live...then I spend the daytime hours with Cleo.  Great Plan this Plan B!!!  It is working ....Cleo is relaxed at home...and Nestle is...Nestle!

 

Last night however, I really discovered Nestle's mind.  We had gone to bed...doors and windows locked...lights out...I fell asleep.  Until 1 AM when I awoke to Nestle's insistent barking.  I got out of bed after saying a few expletives....and found Nestle running from the living room glass sliding doors to the family room's sliding doors.  Both doors open out onto the enclosed lanai with pool.  I peered out in the darkness and saw nothing.  I flipped on the outer lanai lights and there was a big Raccoon who was busily eating out of Nestle's dog bowl.  The Raccoon was totally uninterested in either Nestle's barking...or my wild shouting.....he simply continued to eat his fill until finally he left.

 

 

 

It was now 3 AM...I had brought Nestle's dog bowl back inside...(quite empty)..and settled Nestle down.  I went back to bed.  As I lay there thinking about how cute that little Raccoon was, I realized the similarity between the Raccoon and Cleo.  I realized how Nestle must view Cleo as the offending Raccoon who makes his nightly visits to Nestle's dog bowl.  I felt much more sympathetic to Nestle's barking and keeping me awake...but not quite before I had a vision of this.....

 

 

 

 

 

Today has passed sweetly.  I am house-sitting/pet sitting at Don and Lisa's while they are in Italy for two weeks on vacation.  I have introduced their 10+ year old Springer Spaniel female dog Nestle to my three year old cat Cleo.  To my surprise they are managing to get along well.  Cleo has obviously been around dogs in her Before Life...she shows no fear whatsoever of Nestle Dog.  Nestle on the otherhand, has not been around cats and views Cleo with a huge amount of curiosity.  Nestle has managed to eat Cleo's cat food from her bowl until I became wise to what was going on and have put Cleo's food and water bowl out of Nestle's reach. 

 

The sun is shining beautifully today...I have whiled away the hours swimming and reading a good book by Michael Crichton..State of Fear.  It is a good thriller.  I have sipped on mass quantities of ice tea with lemon and relaxed...pure and simply put...I have enjoyed relaxation at its finest.  It is the "Sunshine" after the "Rain".  My soul is at peace.

 

The sweet sounds of water falling from the hot tub into the pool is gentle...a symphony of sound accompanied by the song birds in the palm trees....

 

Sweet Gentle Life...Sunshine Before the Storm.

 

 

 

 

It was raining hard as I left the doctor's office.  I climbed into my Outback to drive home and as I drove, the rhythm of the windshield wipers kept beat with my heart.  My heart feels heavy ...full of tears.  The months of May and June have been hard ones for me...full of pain...full of loss.  I heard the pain of loss in my daughter's voice yesterday as we shared tears of sadness together as she told me the story of CowBoy.  I called her later to see how CowBoy took to his new home in the mountains.  He is doing quite well and happy to run the fenced-in property that stretches back into the pine trees that frame his new mountain home in Conifer.  His new owner is so happy to have him.  He fits in well with her two-year old male Australian Shepherd, and the two of them play endlessly, sharing water from the same bowl to drink.  The new home for CowBoy is such a blessing, yet the pain of loss is what my daughter is feeling.  She loved him so deeply and she misses him.  We talked long this morning...her tears filling her voice as she felt the bittersweet sadness that filled her being.

 

Loss...it comes in so many ways...it comes with such depth of pain that it threatens to consume those who feel it.  It is the Red Hot Pain...pain that blinds the hopes and vision of those of us who have known profound loss.  Loss of parents...Loss of Siblings...Loss of Children...Loss of Spouse.  Loss...tears that pour from the heart as heavy as the rain that fell as I drove down the street....

 

We all know it...I am not speaking words of something new to those of you who read this...we are all partners of pain and loss...we have all experienced it...and yet we must speak of it, so that the healing...the sunshine ...can radiate from within....So that Love can grow once more...

 

Today the Rain...Tomorrow the Sunshine...

 

 

 

 

I took Don and Lisa yesterday to Orlando's airport.  Lisa was excited about their trip to Italy for two weeks.  Both Don and Lisa need this vacation for some much needed alone-time together.  The children, Alec and Katie flew out the day before to Colorado to be with Lisa's parents in Denver for a month.  Micah, the oldest (age 17) flew to California to spend the next few weeks with his real dad Mark.  So Lisa packed and made last moment's preparations for this trip.  After dropping them off, I stopped at my condo and packed up a few things and headed to their home to watch their dog Nestle while they are away.

 

This morning, I sat sipping coffee when Debby, my daughter called.  I was no way prepared for the sadness in her voice.  Cowboy, Debby's Australian Shepherd (age 4) had bitten Samantha, (Jordan's little friend who came to play yesterday at their home).  Samantha is Jordan's age, age 8, and as she sat on the grass petting the newest little dog Clyde (a Puggle who is a few months old), Cowboy bit her on the side of her face.  Debby began to cry as she described the trauma, notifying Samantha's Mom and driving Samantha to the hospital for ten stitches.  Deb called Troy and then they took Cowboy to the vet to be put to sleep.  However, the vet assistant who was at the clinic, talked to Debby and told her that she had been looking for another dog.  She happens to live in Conifer, CO in the mountains on a large piece of property, and she expressed her desire to take Cowboy to live in Conifer where he can satisfy his basic sheep-herding instincts and run on the property.  Debby and I were both happy that Cowboy could go to a new home, but we were both so sad in having him leave their home.  Cowboy is a very beautiful good-natured dog, but he has become so protective over the small dog Clyde.  We both feel that Cowboy may have either been jealous of Samantha (who Cowboy is familiar with but doesn't really know all that well) petting little Clyde dog...or Cowboy may have felt that Clyde was threatened....at any rate, the bite was severe...and the results were traumatic to everyone involved.

 

Today Debby is taking Cowboy to his new home in the mountains...My heart is heavy as I love Cowboy so much, and know how very much my daughter loves him.  This is so hard for her...so hard for Jordan...so hard for all of us...yet thankfully Cowboy will live a wonderful life and not have to be put to sleep for this random act.

 

I know Debby's pain.  I felt it acutely as we talked, and I feel it now as I write this.  Poor little Samantha, how horrible is this to have happened to her?  I pray that she will heal without any devastating scars...I pray that this tragedy will not traumatize her any further than she already has experienced, and I pray that something wonderful will come out of all this.

 

When Cowboy was a tiny puppy, ten weeks old, a small little ball of fur, I took care of him for a week while Debby and Troy and Jordan went on vacation.  I remember him in my arms, sleeping next to me...and it seems as tho Cowboy has always been bonded to me from that moment on...

 

It is hard to say goodbye ....our pets become a part of us...of our family.....CowBoy will be terribly missed.  Tears like rain pours from my heart....I love you CowBoy.

 

 

 

 

 Today is Friday...the "fifth day" so to speak if you think of Sunday as the last day of the week.  I sat on my Lanai sipping hot coffee and watching the many creatures that dwell within and near the lake through my binoculars.  I had driven to Sports Authority yesterday and purchased a particularly nice Bushnell 10x50  bincoluar that was on sale.  I was eager to try the new binocular out, as Mike's binoculars are less in power.     As I sat relaxing in the sunlight, I watched the Osprey fly to a branch in the tree and the biblical account of the Creation ran through my mind.   My son Don and his wife Lisa had picked my particular condo near the little lake because they both knew that the serenity I would find living here would bring ultimately the healing to my Life that I needed...that I yearned for. 

 

I thought back on the past few years of my Life and I realized the necessity to allow the Healing to begin...and so this morning bathing in the warm sun, I relaxed and enjoyed...and on the fifth day...among  the living creatures and the birds that fly  I allowed this moment in Time to restore my soul...   

 

 

And God said, "Let the waters bring forth swarms of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the firmament of the heavens."
	So God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that moves, with which the waters swarm, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.
	And God blessed them, saying, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the waters in the seas, and let birds multiply on the earth."
	And there was evening and there was morning, a fifth day.

How Far Is Heaven? 
 
"It is just a breath away." The Angels whisper to the Night Wind. 
 
Why then does it seem so far away when a loved one dies?  I have asked myself this so often.  I asked myself this more times than I can count as I cared for a patient who was terminally ill.  I always knew it was my touch often that they last felt as I cared for them before they quietly went toward the Light.   I never knew the answer until I personally experienced the loss of a loved one close to me.  I first questioned Heaven when my Dad died.  He had lain in the hospital bed  with all of his children and grandchildren crowded around him.  With each rise and fall of his chest, I found myself hoping against hope that somehow this was all a bad dream and I would soon awaken to find my Dad's smiling face across from me at the table.  It was not to be.
Dad waited till almost all of us had left his room.  Mom had leaned over to kiss him goodnight.  She sat down in a lounge chair next to his bed.  My Sister and I could not leave Mom, we could not leave our Dad.  We waited in the room, in the semi-darkness.  Waiting for the inevitable.  Quietly Dad slipped away in the night.  My Mom leaned down to kiss him for the last time.  Her words tore at my heart as she whispered, "Goodbye my Love.  I will see you soon."
 
How Far is Heaven?
"It is just a breath away."  I whispered to the Angels who came to take him with them.
 
Less than two years later my Mother went to join my Dad in Heaven.  The Grief doubled in my heart as I stood at the little Stockholm countryside cemetary near Shickley, Nebraska. 
 
How Far is Heaven?
"It is a thin veil between my life here and your life there"  I whispered in my goodbye to my parents.
 
Five years ago my Michael took his last breath and began his journey on the Celestial Bus to Heaven.  I leaned down and kissed his lips goodbye for the last time and I whispered once again...
 
"How Far is Heaven?"
" It is a breath away. "
 "It is a thin veil between this Life and There."
 
" It is a heart beat away."

 

Five weeks ago my brother Larry slipped away sweetly into the Light...The Grief overwhelmed me as I stood once again at the little country cemetary where my parents were laid to rest a few steps away from where my brother was being buried...This time the Grief seemed to carry me into the dark...pain red hot blinded me...I questioned once again..."How Far is Heaven?"  I looked to the blue sky above and the answer came...filling my heart.
How Far is Heaven?
"Its not far" I whispered ...as I felt the pain lift from my being...
"It is a breath away."
"It is a heart beat away."
"It is a thin veil between this Life and There."

"It is just a breath away." The Angels whisper to the Night Wind...

 

 

 

 

The rain fell hard in Florida this afternoon.  I sat on the Lanai and listened to the thunder.  I have told my grandchildren that When it rains, it is the tears from the Angels in heaven that fall to the earth.  I thought about it as I watched the rain.  In the background  my stereo played My Immortal ...as Heaven's tears fell soaking the earth.    Cleo curled up on my lap as we watched together Nature's storm.  The rain cleansed the air...and it cleansed my soul as I watched the lightning streak across the sky.    I quieted my thoughts  and listened to the sound of the rain. . . sweet wonderful rain.   Rain...when the Sky kisses the Earth.

 

My grandson Josh and his wife Megan will soon be moving to Savannah, GA to be with his unit there.  Josh is in the Army infantry and deployment to Iraq may occur before their first baby who is due in December will arrive.  I am happy that Josh and Megan and my great-grandbaby-to-be will be living closer to me.   I look forward to visiting them after they get moved. 

 

I am of course, worried as any Grandmother would be for my grandson and for all of our soldiers who are in this war.  It brings back memories that I have of when I watched many who I knew leave for Viet Nam.  Some came home, like Michael...with his heart and soul still in Viet Nam.  Some didn't come home, like Tom Ohnesorge who died in DaNang in 1967.    I hear the Bagpipes Crying in the distance as I write this.  My prayers are for those in the military who, like my grandson, are being deployed.  My heart goes with them.

 

This is for you Josh.  I love you beyond any words that I can write...and I am proud of you, don't you ever forget that!!!  And this is for all who have served in the wars before and the war that is now...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My brother Larry passed away May 4th of this year.  I flew back to Nebraska on the 5th to be with my family and to celebrate Larry's life.  We were each asked by the family minister what we remembered most about Larry and I spoke of his passion for life.  He lived life with gusto..with passion in everything he did...and somewhere along the line he left behind a legacy of love, a life well-lived and the ability to do "The Dance".  I knew in my heart that he would want those of us who loved him to "Dance"....

 

The Dance is so important...because without it we would have missed the Passion of Life....and I can't say it better than the song's words..."Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd have had to miss the dance"

 

GARTH BROOKS LYRICS

"The Dance"

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared 'neath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the dance

Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I a king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the dance

Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd have had to miss the dance

 

May it Be...My hope for all of you is to "Dance"

 

 

 

Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)

The world may be kinder to you today as your spirit soars with optimism. Still, your positive thoughts may be challenged by a flow of unexpected twists and turns. This can be difficult if you are too rigid. If, however, you are open to the flurry of change, then the good can become even better. Remember, it's just not as important to be right as it is to be open to new perspectives.

 

http://anon.nasa-global.edgesuite.net/anon.nasa-global/ksc/ksc_060807_sts117_launch.asx

I walked outside yesterday evening to watch the sky as Atlantis launched.  Don had called me on the phone and reminded me of NASA's scheduled launch which was six minutes away.  I walked outside and found a space where I cold get a clear view of the sky.  I heard a sound much like a jet roar and there in the sky before me, fire blazing red from the rockets, a white huge trail of vapor streaming behind, rose Atlantis high into the sky.  I watched through my binoculars until it disappeared from my sight.  I felt my spirit soar with the Astronauts inside the space shuttle.  I witnessed along with the many people in Florida who had stopped their busy day to watch the rockets red glare.

Click on the link I provided for you...the launch is on video.

It does give you a new perspective in life....and it is so good to be open to new perspectives as my horoscope for today suggests....

 

 

 

I flew home yesterday afternoon from beautiful Colorado.  I stared out of the window of the plane as we taxied out onto the runway...the mountains in the distance stood tall and majestic.  My week had been a wonderful one.   I stayed at my daughter's home, enjoying my daughter Debby and her husband Troy and my sweet little granddaughter Jordan.  On Saturday I went to Jordan's swim meet...wow that little one can swim.  She took first place in the back-stroke and came home with a handful of ribbons...two blue first place ribbons, a third place ribbon and a fourth place ribbon.  Sunday we went to her piano recital.  I think she takes after me when it comes to the piano...she loves to play and sing.  Yes, I am proud ...very proud of Jordan.  She is growing quickly...and she is self-assured, much more confident than I was at her age.  I smiled remembering my first solo that I sang at Ong Lutheran Church.  I will never forget it.  I was ten years old and my mother was serving with the Ladies Aide that afternoon at the church and I had been asked to provide the entertainment by singing "Onward Christian Soldiers."  I got out of school and walked to the church.  I stood infront of the congregation and began to sing...and then the elastic on my underwear broke...I felt my underpants slowly slide down my legs.  I clamped my knees together and my underwear hung beneath my dress.  I finally let the offended panties drop to my ankles..and as I sang the last verse, I stepped out of my underwear and left them by the Altar.  My poor mother was red-faced and declared to me that it would be her "last time she served at the Ladies Aide"  Fortunately for me, she did not blame me...after all, underwear in those days were not made like they are today.

I told Jordan and my daughter Debby the story and we all laughed.  Jordan wore her best underwear to her piano recital and her performance was not less than a masterpiece in my eyes. 

The entire week was filled with fun and laughter.  I went to the mountains with Sterling and Nancy on Monday.  We drove to BlackHawk and enjoyed an afternoon at the Casino.  I was thrilled.  I had taken $50 with me and won $801 dollars on the penny slot machine...I was not only shocked but totally amazed.  So was Sterling and Nancy for that matter at my good luck.  The next day, ..Tuesday, I drove a rental car out to Rite of Passage Ridgeview Youth Service Center where I used to work before retiring.  I took Jordan with me and we spent a few hours visiting with all of my friends and the boys.  Most of the teenage boys that I used to take care of had left the facility...there were new faces that greeted me.  Seeing Doc at the clinic and all of the medical clinic and Administration co-workers was totally a thrill.  I hated to leave when the time came for me to drive back into Denver, but little Jordan was getting bored I could tell.  We stopped and I visited with an old friend and neighbor Lu and drank ice tea and talked and laughed as tho it had only been yesterday when we were together.  My oldest granddaughter Tina  came over during Saturday and sat with me at Jordan's swim meet.  Afterwards she came to Troy and Debby's home and we watched movies.  Seeing Tina was very good and she looks happy.  She is planning on living with her boyfriend Shawn in a house and she will be moving out of my condo this month.  I already have it leased out for a year to a young couple..so that is all taken care of and I can relax.

The day before I was scheduled to fly back to Florida, Deb, Jordan and I spent a "Girl's Day Out"...what fun!  We went for a manicure and pedicure and spent the day pampering ourselves.  We had such a good time!  It was hard to leave ...but leave I must...so yesterday we got up..had breakfast and drove the drive out to the airport.  My plane was on time and before I knew it...I was landing in sunny warm Florida.

The palm trees swayed softly in the breeze as I left the airport.  Lisa and little Katie had driven out and picked me up....I spent the evening with my son Don and family and Lisa treated me with a scrumptuous meal of garlic bread and her specialty..Lentil soup that is simply divine.

A glass of Bogel's Merlot complimented the meal...I came home to Cleo who purred and meowed and let me know her displeasure at spending a week at the Vet's being boarded.   Don, my son, had rescued Cleo Cat and picked her up from the Vets the day before I flew in and brought her to my home.  She vented her displeasure at being left behind...and finally nipped my finger gently with her teeth....before making up with me and sleeping sweetly by my side last night.

 

Today I am home...back in routine..sipping ice tea and enjoying Florida's warmth.  What a Wonderful World!!!