SANDRA's profileNothing is Permanent exc...PhotosBlogListsMore  |  Tools Help |
|
March 22 Is There a Time?“Is there a time for keeping your distance? Is there a time to turn your eyes away? Is there a time for different colors? Different names that you find hard to spell? Is there a time to turn to Mecca? A time for your first Communion? Is there a time for Christmas trees? Is there a time to run for shelter?” “quotes from the song“Miss Sarajevo”
Is there a time? I only know that for our children, our grandchildren, our great-grandchildren. . . There must come a time to no longer keep our distance. A time to no longer turn our eyes away. A time for different colors and different names. A time for Jesus and Mohammed. A time for our first communion, And time to turn to Mecca. A time to no longer run for shelter. A time for no more wars! Is there a time? March 21 Peace On EarthPeace on Earth
U2
Sometimes I run across a song or in this case, a song and video
that says everything that I feel.
The older that I become
The more certain I am
That the only hope for Mankind
is
Peace on Earth
March 18 Silent WingsSilent Wings
Some songs evoke memories that
suddenly carry me back to a time when
I would have followed him
To the end of the earth...
Today the clouds drift hazily overhead
The sunlight filters softly
through the palm trees
And my thoughts drift
Silently away
On silent wings
I remember Michael
In the twilight of my years
His memory just never fades
I will never be the same again
I feel the whisper of the wind
On Silent wings. . . Silent Wings
There was a time
When I would have followed you
To the end of the earth
I was willing to share it all with you
The love...
The hurt...
I've seen you when your dreams were falling in the dust
But I never stopped believing in you
I always thought our love was strong enough
One you could hold onto
You never see it coming
You just let it ride
On silent wings
Silent wings
You can;t hide what you feel inside
And the fire has left your eyes
Silent Wings
I see us in our dreams
And we are dancing
I can almost hear the song
But the prayers they go unanswered
And we both know
We are just hanging on. . .
I feel the change
But I never know the reason why
The rug was pulled so gently from under my feet
I only know that something good has died
Between you and me
Or is it just a memory
You never see it coming
You just go separate ways
On silent wings
silent wings
Cause no promises to break
Oh our love has slipped away
On silent wings
You never see it coming
But you know it has to end
On silent wings
Silent wings
I will never be the same again
I feel the whisper of the wind
Silent wings
Silent wings
March 09 Post anniversary MelancholyI feel somewhat of a Melancholy today. Perhaps it is the after effects of one more anniversary that arrived without Michael being here. I always seem to have a bit of a down feeling after the anniversary has come and gone, and this year is no exception.
I do however, have the excitement of Dan and Brenda and my little Parker arriving here at the end of March, and also Josh, Megan and great-grandson Dakoda arriving for a weekend while Dan is here. It will be good to be with all of them. Sterling and Nancy arrived at Don and Lisa's yesterday and are staying there. I am also happy that they are here to. It is their yearly vacation to Florida, and I know that the warmth has such a healing effect on Sterling's rheumatoid arthritis...so I am very thankful that the weather is so warm here.
All is going well. I am feeling fine which is wonderful. I can't complain about anything. Yes you heard me right...no complaints! LOL Ahhhhh sometimes life is so good that I wonder what is wrong? LOL...paranoid? me? nahhhh!
I shall settle down today and sip some ice tea on the lanai. The lanai always cheers me up.
I send to all my family and friends my deepest love.
March 07 Another Day in Paradise Orlando, Florida
It is amazing to me how beautiful Orlando truly is
From the air when flying in to MCO airport
You can see all of the many lakes
that dot the metro area
Longwood where I live
Is a beautiful suburb of Orlando
And the neighborhood that I live in
is very peaceful and serene
Filled with many small lakes
Including the one little lake outside of my lanai
Tomorrow is Sunday and I shall awake
accompanied by the two cats Cleo and Mocha
I shall sit in my enclosed lanai
and listen to the glorious sound of
the songs of the birds that reside in the large
Magnolia tree that I have dubbed "The Tree of Life"
I will sip my coffee laced with creamer
And bask in the warmth of the sun
As Cleo and Mocha curl up at my feet
Another Day in Paradise has begun
And I thank God above
For being here AnniversaryHappy Anniversary my Michael
March 5th
 I awoke this morning and sat bolt upright
"It is March 5th, my wedding anniversary to Michael!" I thought as I glanced at the bedside clock.
It read 4 AM, yet I was wide awake and full of energy.
I got up and showered, dressed and began my day.
I tried to avoid thinking of Michael. I had moved to Florida to begin a new life. And I know he realizes that I must do this...
Yet...he stayed flowing in and out of my mind.
This afternoon, I lit a candle for Michael.
I watched the flame flicker softly in the Annunciation Catholic church.
I kneeled in prayer and whispered softly to God.
I asked him to hold Michael in his arms for me today.
I asked God to fill his heart with love
I stayed kneeling, my knees aching as I continued my prayer.
Memories of Michael flooded my mind.
They were the joyous memories...
Memories of his smile...
Memories of his face...
Memories of his laughter...
Memories of his love.
I sat for a long time, allowing the memories to
whisper in and out of my mind,
The candle burning softly in the hazy light of the inner sanctuary.
And then I thanked God
For He had allowed Michael to visit me
Today on our anniversary.
I arose and left, my step a bit lighter,
My heart a bit warmer
My soul touched by love.
I love you soldier Boy!
Happy Anniversary!
Soul Searching Soul Searching
Today has been a quiet day spent in contemplation
It is March, and today is windy and cold
I slipped on my sweats
And took a long walk
I found a bench in the park across from where I live
And I sat soul searching...
Soul Searching
Where am I going? I asked myself
What do I want in life? I asked myself
Am I really ready for love to come into my life? I asked myself
I looked deep within
Searching for the answers to these questions
Hot tears spilled down my cheeks
As I realized how lonely path to
Soul Search deep within
I looked to the sky
And searched for God
I beseeched Him to speak
But his voice was quiet
Where am I going? I asked God
What do I want in Life? I asked God
Am I really ready for love to come into my life? I asked God
The wind chilled me to the bone
As I sat upon the park bench
My sweater wrapped tightly around me
And then in the howl of the wind
And the rustle of the leaves
God spoke.
Where are you going? God asked me
What do you want in your life? God asked me
Are you ready to love again? God asked me
And then God's arms enfolded me
As my tears ran down my cheeks
And He held me as a gentle Father
And I his wayward daughter
He kissed my tears away
As He whispered the answers
Where am I going?
"You are coming to Me!"
What do I want in life?
"To live serenely"
Am I ready to love again?
"Only when you let go of love!"
I sat for a long time
The wind caressing my skin
Until it was time to return home
My tears no longer
wet upon my cheek
My mind no longer hungering
My heart no longer in pain
And so it is...
And so it shall Be.
Copyright 2009 Sandra McEwen
March 02 The Walk... The Walk...
Of Life
It is strange to awaken one morning suddenly alive and excited with hope alive in my heart again
Yet I am awake today...my senses reeling as I
Allow myself perchance to dream
Allow myself permission to love again
It is the walk of Life
that I am experiencing
At the moment I am walking alone on the walk of life
This is not to say that somewhere in my future
I may be accompanied upon my path
I await it with joy
I am filled with wonderment
and Expectation
It is the walk of Life
That I am feeling
March 01 It's not where you've been...March has arrived like a lion today in sunny Florida. Windy and cool with the temperature to drop to the 30's tonight, I find myself longing for my fireplace that I had in Colorado. I would light a log in the hearth and sit by the warmth of the fire, watching the wind blow the trees outside. The sound was soulfull as it is today here in Florida. A low moan as if a lover crying for her mate, the wind blows through the trees, causing them to dance in a sensual sway. I love today. My ducks, the large Muscovy ducks, are swimming on the small lake outside of my window. They are engaging in their ritual Spring mating. It won't be long and the females will be laying their eggs in a nest nestled among the bank of trees that border the farside of the lake.
I sense their restlessness as my heart calls out joining with their voice in a cry for my mate to find me. I have spent these many years since Michael passed away in 2001, safely penning my thoughts..my hopes ..my dreams into this space. I have, however, not allowed my heart to roam free...to gently explore ...to perhaps communicate purely with another who might share his thoughts with me.
I have chalked it all up to healing. Just when the heart wound has scabbed over, a remembrance, a memory sweet and unbidden rips the scab from my heart, and I cry out...feeling the pain all over again. But over the years, the pain has lessened, and I have slowly emerged from my self-made sanctuary, to look out upon the world...to join others who, like me, are swimming in this tide of Life, looking for the mate who will share my golden years with me. Perhaps I will find him. Perhaps I will not...
whatever is to be..will be. But I refuse to hide my heart any longer.
I have a little inspirational reminder that sits upon my desk as I type this: It reminds me "It's not where you've been that counts, it's where you are going"...
And so it is...
And so it shall be.
|
|
|
