It is one of the few sleepless nights in Florida that I endure from time to time.  Tonight I awoke from falling asleep on the couch.  My mind was instantly alert, awake...thoughts swirling with myriads of feelings through my mind.  My Grandson Josh has returned to Iraq.  I ordered a large care package for him online and sent it yesterday, along with boxer shorts and t-shirts that he had hesitatingly requested when we conversed during one of our phone conversations while he was home for two weeks in Michigan to be with his newborn son Dakoda and his wife Megan.  I cannot begin to put into words my thoughts of Josh returning to Iraq.  I fear for is safety of course, and as a Grandmother, I want him to return home, safe and sound to his family.  I feel those same feelings for all of our troops.  I want them to return home safe to their families that are awaiting them.  So tonight, my mind is ablaze...restless, as I think of him and the young men and women who are serving our country.  This is more than a job for them...for Josh.  It is a duty of the heart..of the soul...one that combines selfless devotion to duty, sacrifice of so much...their time away from their homeland, away from those of us who love them, and sometimes the greater sacrifice ...losing one's life for others.  Josh is my hero.  He is much like his grandfathers...strong like Sterling, who never fought in war away from home, but as a police officer, he served those of us who were in need of protection...he fought the war of ridding our streets of criminal activity...and so Josh inherited this strength from his Grandfather Sterling.  Josh is also like his Grandfather Michael...Michael who served three tours in Viet Nam in the Special Forces...Josh inherited Michael's bravery.  Josh is also like his father Dan.  Dan, who has been a fighter from an early age...fighting the ravages of Diabetes.  Dan, has given so much of his life to helping others...in the medical arena of oncology radiation research, Dan fights the devastating effects of illness and disease...finding ways to treat the sick and dying so that others may live.  Josh has learned sacrifice from his father...  

 

Memories always whisper in my mind during the wee hours of the morning.  Memories I cannot share...so intimate and personal...they whisper of what was.  Perhaps my dreams are of ...What Shall be...  And even though I must live in "what is"...from time to time I slip between "what was"..."what is"...and What Shall Be.

 

Sleep is beckoning...as I write this...it is time to put my thoughts to rest in the quiet of Night.  Darkness is soft and alluring, like a down comforter...it wraps  comforting around me as I blow out the candle and wish you my family, my friends a gentle night.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nestle

1993 - Feb. 18, 2008

 

 

In Memory of our family Dog Nestle

Who walked the Stairway to Heaven today

 

Nestle has been Don, Lisa, Micah, Alec and Katie's Dog for 14 years.  She was a little bundle of fur when she was first brought home by Don and Lisa. 

I became a part of sharing Nestle as the family dog a year ago when I moved to Florida to live here.

Nestle became quite ill a couple of weeks ago and worsened last week.

Today she was set for a cat scan under anesthesia, which showed that Nestle had a very large mass in her throat and palate,

Because of her advanced age, the family chose to simply love her and allow her the dignity to no longer be in pain.

This afternoon, Don, Lisa and Katie gathered at the vet surgical hospital to say their goodbyes to Nestle

And to Allow her to Walk the Stairway to Heaven.

 

Goodbye my little Nestle, Until we meet again

Yesterday in Longwood, FL. as I strolled slowly to the mailbox the sun felt warm upon my skin.  I opened the box and there among the usual junk mail, a few bills that are due, was a letter from my grandson Josh in Iraq.  My heart beat faster as I walked quickly home to open the envelope and read his letter.  The envelope was postmarked January 17th, when he sent it, and I was now receiving it on Feb. 5th.  I sat down in my favorite chair out on the lanai, where my cup of coffee sat waiting for me on the table next to the chair.  I began to read Josh's letter to me.  His letter was personal to me...sweet and loving, between a grandson and his grandmother.  He wrote how he was on the road as the lead security vehicle for the Army convoy on my birthday.  "I am out on the road about three to four times a week."  His next statement in his letter made my heart ache as I read it.  "I have never met so many people that hate me."  Tears streamed down my cheeks as I read on...his words touching my heart...my soul to the very depths.  "I am so sick of the mortars in the middle of the night!  I don't remember the last time I slept more than five hours."   Memories of his grandfather Michael filled my mind...when he too talked of the nights when he rarely slept in Viet Nam...   the long days on duty...eyes that showed the exhaustion of war.

I smiled when I read this exerpt from his letter:  "You know, I've never been so happy to receive underwear in the mail!"  (I, along with the rest of the family had sent underwear, t-shirts, care packages of snacks, food, baby wipes, first aid kit for Josh and the troops at Christmas)  "As soon as I opened the boxes and found the underwear , I dropped my pants infront of everyone and put the new underwear on.  It felt great!!!"  I smiled thinking of my tall 6'5" Grandson stripping down to nothing to put on the underwear.  He went on to say "We took bottle water and baby wipe showers for a couple of weeks because we are low on water here.  They keep blowing up where we get our main water supply!" 

Once again the letter became sweet and personal as he wrote about how he is looking forward to coming home to hold his baby son for the first time, and to be with family. 

 

I am so sad, because my trip to Michigan to see Josh is probably not going to happen.  I have an active case of shingles and this time (I have had about 5 episodes of shingles over the years) but this episode has been the worst..and the most long-lasting.  It began in October of last year and has never completely gone away.  As the blisters begin to heal and crust over, a new outbreak begins...  I finally went to the doctor last week, and am on Famvir and Lyrica.  I have post hepatic neuralgia (PHN) which is really painful from the shingles, and my entire body aches all over.  The Lyrica is a God send as it makes my pain lessen to almost non-existant.  I am so thankful for this relief in pain.  I had my first bout with shingles in 1993, and over the years, as I mentioned, I have had about five different bouts of shingles...with each time, the shingles progressively becoming worse.  My body has been aching for a long time...actually years, and I blamed it on ...arthritic pain...muscle pain...etc.  Never realizing, that I was undergoing a neuralgia type of pain all this time (sigh)...(great nurse aren't I?  Well, actually I am...just not when it comes to myself!)  At any rate, because of the shingles, and the fact that Brenda (my son Dan's wife) and my little newborn great grandson Dakoda could get chickenpox (which could be horribly serious to them) from me having shingles (I can't give shingles..but I can give chickenpox to anyone who has not had chickenpox).....So I don't dare take the chance .  I am seeing my doctor again on the 7th (in two days)...and he will check me over to see if all the lesions are drying up...however, as I looked today, there are some new outbreak along the back of my neck and spreading along to my left ear so I think it is probably a moot point.

 

So, plan B is in progress...since Plan A (the trip to Michigan) is probably out....Plan B calls for several long phone calls to Josh and Megan...Dan and Brenda...if I can't be there to enjoy Josh being back...I will call and talk to him....next best...and we will laugh...and we will make more memories...and I will insist on some pictures being sent to me....thats the way it will probably have to be....but it is ok...I will touch across the miles to Josh's heart and my Great Grandson Dakoda...I will murmur as Grandmothers do in the phone and my little Dakoda will hear my voice...I will tell him how I love him...and listen to his soft baby coos...

 

Life has so many twist...so many turns...and yet....I wouldn't miss this Dance for anything!

 

 

 

The proud warriors of Baker Company wanted to do something to pay tribute To our fallen comrades So since we are part of the only Marine Infantry Battalion left in Iraq the one way that we could think of doing that is By taking a picture of Baker Company saying the way we feel. It would be awesome if you could find a way to share this with our fellow countrymen. I
was wondering if there was any way to get this into your papers to let the world know that 'WE HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN' and are proud to serve our country.' Semper Fi
1stSgt Dave Jobe

The attached photo was forwarded from one of the last U.S. Marine companies in Iraq . They would like to have it passed to as many people as possible, to let the folks back home know that they remember why they're there and that they remember those who've been lost.