The older I become, the more I realize how much I do not know about Life and the wonderment of it.

I adopted a feral cat two years ago right after I had moved to Florida.  I named him Sidney and each day I would fill a bowl of cat food for Sidney and carry it to him where he patiently awaited his meal safely under a bush along the side of my condo.  He remained very afraid of humans and would tolerate me approaching him with his bowl of food.  But I could never touch him.  The few times I tried to reach down and pet him, I would run for the safety of my condo, dripping blood from a scratch that needed a Band-Aid.  I knew that Sidney could have really hurt me if he wanted to, but he would simply quick as a wink, bat me on my hand with his claws to let me know this was not a thing I should do.  So, after awhile, I stopped my attempts at petting him.  He would allow me to stand close to the bowl while he fed, but only at a distance of a foot away.  I could not get closer and I respected his need to feel safe.

Often Sidney would come and spend the entire day outside of my lanai and he would take his nap.  Cleo, my cat would sit on my lap and watch him, and they became friends of sorts.  She would lie on the floor next to the screen, and on the other side of the screen Sidney would curl up next to her.  Only the screen separated them as they would lie next to one another. 

October 31st, Halloween morning, almost two months ago, Sidney arrived as usual for his daily meal and I fed him and laughed as he hungrily lapped it up.  He was such a magnificent wild cat.  He would never be content to live indoors along side Cleo and myself, but as long as I could feed him as he lived outside until at such time he chose to change our living arrangement. 

The next day came and went without a trace of Sidney.  I worried that perhaps he was frightened by all of the Halloween trick or treaters who were in the neighborhood.  Days went by, then weeks, then I became deeply afraid that little Sidney, my warrior among the wilderness had been injured, or worse.

I stopped on a road one day a few weeks ago when I saw a striped cat, such as Sidney, lying dead. I picked up the lifeless body and placed it respectfully along the grassy ditch.  I said a quiet prayer over its body and returned home.  I convinced myself that it was not Sidney and kept my hope alive that he would return.  After all, even tho Sidney had left for a week at a time before, he would always return to me.  I felt somehow that he might be alive.

Christmas day and late into the night, I spent with Don, Lisa, my grandchildren, and Lisa's parents and Grandmother.  We had such a great day and I went home tired and ready for a night's sleep after the festivity. 

The Day after Christmas, I spent at home relaxing and enjoying the warmth of Florida.  Don and Katie came over to hook up the Christmas gift that they had given to me on Christmas...a beautiful HD LCD television set that Don and Lisa had picked out for me.  As Don and I chatted while he hooked up the television, Katie (my ten year old granddaughter) sat in the living room and made me three beautiful pictures and cards that only grandchildren can make.  She wrote of her love for her Grandmother, and I smiled with joy.  They left and last night, at the first moment of the sun leaving the sky, I headed for my bedroom and as I lay in bed I fell fast asleep to the sound of my new TV.

I awoke this morning, remembering a dream that I had dreamt through the night.  It was my first dream about Sidney.  In my dream, all of my family were together and we found Sidney under a tree nestled sweetly in a basket with baby kittens.  I laughed and said to my children..."Wow, all this time I thought Sidney was a boy..and she is a Mama Cat with kittens!"  The dream ended there and it was still fresh in my mind as I sipped on ice tea and sat out on the lanai.  I was talking on the phone to my best friend Tammy...my childhood friend who through the years, our friendship has never failed.  We have always faithfully called one another, and kept in tough week after week.  While we were talking about our Christmas family fun, Sidney strutted infront of the lanai and came to the bush where he always awaited his bowl of food.  I told Tammy that I would have to call her back, and I hung up and joyfully ran to the kitchen...filling his bowl to the top with cat food.  I walked outside and he sat in the grass watching me as I carried the bowl of food to him.  He drank the broth and respectfully ate a few bites.  I noticed how well he looked.  Infact, he looked bigger and more filled out.  Who ever had cared for him, had fed him well.  He looked beautiful,  And clearly, he was not hungry.  He had ate a few bites and left the rest of the food untouched.  As quickly as he had appeared, he left walking to the side of the condo and the woods.  I called Tammy back and told her everything.  We laughed together and I told Tammy, "well my friend, I have been given my renewed faith ... My prayer for Sidney was that he was safe and well...my prayer had been answered.  Sidney had returned to me to let me know that "Everything is as it should Be".

Merry Christmas to all.....and to all a Good Night!